Searching for an Identity

Akake on 2010/08/19 00:39 of Gloryhound Rising

I've been spending the past few years trying to form a real identity for myself. Trying to figure out a consistent way to live my life and do what I do.

I've tried art, I've tried sciene, I've tried programming. I've tried being a minimalist, I've tried being ecologically-minded, I've tried being retro.

I've been trying to find some underlying method, some underlying idea I can apply to my life. Is this futile? Should I be doing this? Is there any hope to this?

I... I really need advice. I know this isn't really the place for it, but I've got very few other places to go and they wouldn't be friendly to this kind of personal issue.

I'm really sorry if this bothers anyone, but I need some direction on how to handle this feeling.

        --- Akake

(log in to comment)

Comments

ArmchairArmada on 2010/08/19 01:10:

Maybe you should go a while not putting so much time and effort into trying to create an identity.  People are complex and cannot be distilled down into focussed and clear identity.  Just try enjoying life and going along with whatever happens.  Eventually you might find some form of contentment with your life and who you are.

Akake on 2010/08/19 03:05:

You're right. I need to stop forcing myself to be just one thing and just be what I am.

I like a lot of different things both in interests and in terms of philosophy. I can't force myself to pick just one thing to carry in my life, and that's something I need to accept.

I'm getting way too emotional about this stuff. ^^;

tartley on 2010/08/19 08:37:

Hey.

From what I see from a distance, it sounds like you already have a whopping great 'identity' for yourself. You're certainly one of the most distinctive people on the pyweek board, and I mean that in the nicest way. :-)

Makes me think that you don't need to worry about getting way too emotional. That's perfectly normal and human. Let em out (even though it sometimes makes one feel or look silly), acknowledge them, and when one has unexpected emotions, maybe spend a little time trying to analyse what it is, and wonder why you're feeling it. (e.g. "I've been writing games the last few months and it makes me feel fulfilled and proud, or I've been meditating and it makes me feel frustrated and impatient!") Then you're a little better equipped to understand what makes you tick inside, and maybe bear that in mind when you make your choices next time around. Let *this* process guide decisions about your life, rather than looking for consistent principles to live by.

Alright. My thoughts, for what they're worth. Take the bits that make sense to you, feel free to throw the rest away. Cheers!

ikanreed on 2010/08/19 20:04:

Make what satisfies you, personally.  That is the strongest identity a game can have.