I'll Stop Proclaiming, I Think (An Apology)

Akake on 2010/08/04 20:20 of Gloryhound Rising

I've disappointed too many people with unfinished games that I made huge promises about. (Also means that Panda3D's given me enough problems that I'm seriously reconsidering it...)

I'd like to apologize for my habit of proclaiming before I should. I'd also like to apologize for my habit of bragging about a game idea and then flaking out. I wanted to redeem myself, and I'm not off to a great start.

I really want to say that I won't brag about things until they've happened, and that I won't make decisions until I have all the information. All I can do here is try, though. (As much of a trope as that is...) I struggle with self-control, and I'll have to work harder to keep myself from jumping the gun about everything.

I'm sorry I've acted the way I have. I'm trying to change, and I'll try harder from here on. Please forgive me.


        --- Akake

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Comments

tartley on 2010/08/04 22:51:

I forgive you!

I don't know whether this is relevant to your situation or not. I'll tell you my story and let you judge:

I embarked upon a hopelessly ambitious game a couple of years ago, and thankfully was eventually persuaded by wiser and more experienced game writers that I needed to set my sights lower, for the time being at least. It was hard to let go of my aspirations, but after that, I started targeting the idea of 'micro-games', as I call them. Challenging myself to create the simplest games possible. A couple of months ago I actually wrote a game of pong, no joke (with a very minor twist to 'make it my own'.)

Since I have been doing this, I have found that I actually complete the games i start! Which is great, obviously, for the fun it brings and the self-esteem, and helping those around me understand what it is I'm trying to achieve. Figuring out just how simple a game can be has actually become quite rewarding in itself.

Surprisingly, I seem to learn just as much this way, not just technically but also about myself and simply about what it takes to bring a hobbyist programming project like a PyWeek game to completion in my spare time.

It is my hope that as I gain game-writing experience, and accrete small chunks of reusable code, I will one day be able to return to the ideas of my original overly-ambitious game, think afresh about how to reduce the scope in constructive ways, maybe find some people to work with on it, and figure out some way to make it happen. Realistically, building up to it like this is the only way it's going to happen.

So don't fret about it, you'll be just fine. Shine on.

Akake on 2010/08/05 00:05:

tartley:

Thanks, I needed that... :)

I'm going to try to relax about these things. I need to practice not getting wound up.

I think that I'll save Panda3D for when I have more time, since the ODE bindings are such trouble to work with.

I'm thinking that making really simple games is probably a good idea for me, too. I want to try to warm myself up before the compo starts.

Thanks for sharing your story with me. It makes me feel much better knowing that I'm not alone. :)

saluk on 2010/08/05 06:32:

Have you ever thought about not burning yourself out by trying to make a million games right before the compo? That said, I hope it won't offend you to say all of your bragging, brainstorming, and trial and error is really entertaining to read. You always seem to start out on the right track, and then bite off a bit more than you can chew without gradually ramping up to it. It's not that different from a lot of us I suspect, but few of us are as open about our failures as you are. I think the fact that you keep trying many many times can be seen as a good thing rather than a bad thing. Edison tested 6,000 different materials before he found one to use for the light-bulb filament. Each failure just gets you one step closer to success.

Also like tartley I find myself focusing on simpler and simpler projects - except for my big project that has taken off and become more like an unpaid job than the hobby it was meant to be :P But even that started out very simple, and has only gotten large because of momentum (and an audience who always demands more).

Akake on 2010/08/05 14:07:

I'm glad I'm entertaining and not, you know, annoying. And yeah, I tend to mite off more than I can chew...

I'm switching to something that'll be really simple to do. I'm hoping that I can finish it.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to share all of this. I guess it helps me to have someone to tell. Though it's to be said that the PW message board is (At least between compos) a tribute to my failures and a monument to my persistence. And a journal of me not quite getting it right, but I hope I've at least begun to move in the right direction. (I've at least progressed from my delusional 20+ page design document days, which were long before the first time I entered PyWeek)

richard on 2010/08/06 07:03:

Please don't stop :-)