This text contains a walkthrough for the whole game. If you haven't tried playing, close this and go try at least once!






























Here’s what to do to get through to the end:


































First go to the farm and talk to the Pharmacist. Tell him you wanted to get fresh air, then choose the option about faulty products.

Now go to the Bullshit Volcano—this is where we get the fertilizer for the Pharmacist. Pick the second or third option with the volcano priestess to get the LOAD OF SHIT.

Return to the Pharmacist and give him the goods. He will thank you and send you on his way.

Next visit the bay and talk to the creepy old man there. Indulge his lechery and choose the second option, then the first or third.

Now we need wood to fix the lighthouse. Head to Maybe I Woods and talk to Bon Luvr. He doesn't want to hear about his beard or the fact that he's a lumberjack so pick the third option. Then, keep up the flattery and pick the second or third option. Stroke his ego a final time by picking option one or two, and you will get the PERFECT WOOD.

Bring the wood back to the lighthouse creep and the lighthouse will be fixed.

Your next destination is Whatsthe Point, which was empty before, but you'll notice now has a pirate pacing back and forth. Convince the pirate not to jump by picking the third option, then the first or third. The pirate will leave and go to the beach.

When meeting the pirate at the beach simply pick the first or second option to get the LOAD OF TREASURE. If you went to the school before this point you will have noticed that the teacher there wouldn't speak to you unless you were richer... now's the time!

Go to the school and ask for the course on Colored Squares (second option). Then pick the third option.

We didn't have a lot of time, so this is it... the final cutscene. Gurl will come and chew you out and then leave. That's all folks!

Its recommended (if you came here for spoilers without trying to play first) that you get a couple answers wrong (at least 3 or 4) so you can experience the "deresolution" effect that the game pivots around.